Dads don't always ask for help, and they don't always accept it easily. If you're starting to arrange and pay for your dad's care, this guide keeps it practical and low-key.
The steps are the same whoever you're caring for, but how you get there with a proud, independent dad can matter just as much as the plan itself.
Start with a conversation, not a decision
Many men link needing care with losing independence. Lead with what you have noticed, ask what he wants, and offer one small change rather than a finished plan.
My guide has words you can borrow: how to talk to a parent about needing more care.
Get the free assessments first
Ask the GP about anything health-related, then ask the council for a free needs assessment. Both cost nothing and often unlock support before you spend a penny.
- GP review for health, medication and mobility
- Free council needs assessment (his right under the Care Act 2014)
- Ask about aids and adaptations before paid care
What will your dad's care cost?
For England in 2026, home care is usually £26 to £38 an hour (Homecare Association recommended minimum £34.42 an hour), and live-in care is around £220 a day. See home care costs for the full picture.
The help your dad can still get
If your dad is over State Pension age and needs help with personal care or supervision, Attendance Allowance is worth claiming, whatever his savings. Whether the council helps with care costs depends on his savings, explained in my self-funding care guide.
Sharing the load
If you have brothers or sisters, agree who does what early. Practical jobs, money, and time can be shared even when people live far apart.
- Agree the facts together before deciding anything
- Divide tasks by what each person can realistically do
- Keep every decision focused on what your dad wants
