Help with paying for a loved one's care, in plain English

Worried about arranging and paying for care for your mum, dad, husband or wife? You're in the right place. I explain what the councils, the NHS and the care companies mean, in plain words, so you can make a calm, informed decision.

A younger person's arms wrapped gently around an older loved one, their hands clasped together

Start here, take a breath

If you have just realised that someone you love needs more help, this is a lot to take in. It is normal to feel worried, and a bit guilty, and unsure where to start.

I cared for my own mum at home for around ten years, and later worked as a home carer. This site is independent, so what you read here is honest guidance.

There are really two questions most people arrive with: how do I know it is time, and how on earth do we pay for it. I have a clear guide for each.

An older woman and her adult daughter embracing cheek to cheek outdoors, both laughing warmly

The two guides most people need first

A woman sitting at home with a pen, working through paperwork and documents on her lap
Paying for care

Self-funding care: a plain-English guide

What self-funding means, what care costs, the savings thresholds, and the help you can still get.

Read the self-funding guide
An older man sitting alone on his sofa at home, resting his chin on his clasped hands and looking thoughtful
Recognising the need

How to know when a loved one needs more help

The early signs that a parent or partner needs more support at home, how to raise it kindly, and what to do next.

Read the recognising guide

Written for the person you're caring for

Every family is different. Caring for your mum is not the same as caring for your husband, and the money questions are different too, especially the protections that apply to a wife or husband you live with.

So I have written a plain first-steps guide for each. Start with the one that fits you.

Three generations of one family gathered outdoors, smiling, holding hands in a circle
An older mother and her adult daughter sitting cheek to cheek, smiling together
Caring for a parent

Caring for your mum: first steps

Starting to arrange and pay for your mum's care? The first practical steps, what it costs, and the help available.

Read the guide
An elderly father and his adult daughter sitting together on a sofa, smiling as they look through a photo album
Caring for a parent

Caring for your dad: care tips

Practical tips for arranging and paying for your dad's care at home, from first steps to costs and benefits.

Read the guide
An elderly husband and wife standing arm in arm, smiling and waving together
Caring for a partner

Caring for your husband or wife

Paying for a partner's care comes with home and savings protections many people miss. See first steps for your husband or your wife.

The spouse protection explained

Where would you like to start?

Pick the guide closest to what is worrying you today. Everything links together, so you can follow the thread from one to the next.

Paying for care Recognising the need Browse all guides